Look, I get it. You wanted Tina Fey to be your political tastemaker. She swooped down in 2008, slaying anyone who was considering voting for John McCain by holding a mirror up to his running mate. Even those in support of Sarah Palin were unable to tell the difference between the real and the reflection, […]
Things I learned from today’s press conference: You’re welcosorry. (Original image here, and wow.) 1) Trump didn’t do it, but even if he did, it would have been totally fine if he did, which he didn’t 2) Trump doesn’t know the difference between “over a short period of time” and “in a short period of time” i.e., […]
It’s been a rough few days. If there’s on thing I’ve learned about depression, it is that you do whatever you can to forge ahead when it fills you up. That water level gets high, you go higher—and you don’t try to swim. You float. You stay calm, and you wait for your feet to […]
At my last physical, the doctor recommended I start mammograms early. Most women begin them at forty, and I’ve heard some horror stories from these ladies. Not painful enough to lose sleep over, but painful enough to be uncomfortable. “Uncomfortable” gave me pause. Ladies know that uncomfortable, and its cousin discomfort, are code words for […]
Apparently it’s on me to teach people about family planning. I’m not being paid to do so, and I’m not given any government subsidies. I’m a 35-year-old who lost her virginity at 17 and wants to make sure all people, especially young people, have access to the facts. Remember: The truth can still hurt you, […]
I know a lot of you are angry today. If you’re like me, you’ve been alternating between tearful and terrified, looking for that one tiny thread of hope that can console you. For many, that thread is anger. How could so many people be convinced so easily that their feelings are worth more than facts? […]
1) At 6 degrees, there is no call to ride a motorcycle. That shit is just foolishness that ends in hypothermia-induced loss of a nose. 2) This is no time to be standing in line for a new bar to open. They have beer at the store, and you can drink it in your home–which […]
Me: Watch out for my arms, they gave me shots.Bacon: Jeez, how many?Me: One in each arm. Flu and TDAP.Bacon: Sounds like a rapper.Me: “Immunize,” by TDAP feat. Flu.Bacon: Flu mostly produces.Me: You have no idea. Speaking of, do we need to stop and get more Dayquil?Bacon: I’m feeling okay today, but I wanted to […]
My husband walked out of the bedroom and mooned me. I responded with finger guns, as I was occupied. And by that I mean “sitting on the toilet with the door open.” The first year of marriage has been a success.
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