Weekend Warriors


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Memorial Day Weekend, according to Comcast, is an opportunity to show battle films. While this may seem logical, the film in question was Braveheart. Followed by Elizabeth I. The Sooz explained that the holiday meant war movies, or in this case, blood and freedom and warriors. I said, yes. But these are, um, British. It’s […]

May 24, 2008

Boo and Hiss and a Little Bit Yay


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Boss is back in town. Workload triples. I did not go in search of the Lost Bikini of El Dorado this weekend, as I was too busy eating fritters, rice krispie treats and food at Angelo’s. Next weekend, when I finally do get around to shopping, that bikini’s going to fit like twine on a […]

May 19, 2008

Bikini Update: Baby Got Back to Square One


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Last weekend I went back to the mall for its last two leads: Land’s End suits at Sears, and Macy’s. Hoo, boy. Macy’s… wow. Just, wow. Our Macy’s is relatively new; a short while ago it was a Jacobson’s (that I never went into),and I was all geeked to have an anchor store in common […]

May 12, 2008

Konichiwa.


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My boss is in Japan. If you missed that, my boss is in Japan. Japan is 13 hours ahead of Midwestern time, so when I walk into work in the morning, it is 9:00 PM there. When I leave, it is 6:00 AM. Thus, there should be no voice contact between me and said boss […]

May 12, 2008

“Nooooooo!”


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When your frozen yogurt topples out of the cone and onto your skirt. When your expensive acne soap slips out of the shower and lands in the hairy unknown behind the toilet. When the condo you were in love with in snaked out form under you and you have to go house shopping all. Over. […]

May 9, 2008

Blowing my Own Horn


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I’m just that limber. New piece is up today at The Foghorn; it’s a re-tooled bit from back in January wherein my hands smelled like Old Spice for half a day. I reccommend reading as much of the site as possible–there’s very little good short-humor sites that aren’t topical, and this one’s gonna be huge. […]

May 7, 2008

Dirt-Worshipping, Sans Nudity


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I love the hell out of May. Unlike these weepy eyes swelling from every thing that ever bloomed, and the fascist demand that I stay in my chair and do my job when it’s 71 degrees out (which I handle about the same as a fourth-grader), gardening gets easier every year. Not only that, but […]

May 6, 2008

Your Friendly Local Bulletin


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Happy Beltane, everyone. A holiday everyone everywhere can get behind, as we basically just feel happy that it’s Spring, baseball starts to get interesting, and we hope the crops will grow lovely and tall. Oh, and traditionally we set some fires and go nude, but modern Paganism being much more come-as-you-are, your discretion. Unfortunately, our […]

May 1, 2008