Month: February 2007

The Only Reason I’m Not Fired

Is because I didn’t say these things out loud. To phone callers… “well, I don’t know. Call her, then.”“hang on—I forget which job I’m at”“hellump?”“blah blah blah yeah I get it”“who’s askin?”“maybe you should have looked at the number before you dialed”“transfer don’t hit hangup don’t hit hang—shit”“who, now?” To a coworker… “Dude. Duuuude.”“hell. I’m …

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Chaotic: Not Just a Catchphrase

I spent the morning reading websites, email, Yahoo, basically anything my right forefinger deemed interesting, hoping I could find something to post about. After lunch I had totally given up and was reading some Cracked Top Tens, and resigned myself to a slovenly, postless day…until I saw Craig Ferguson do this bit about Britney—or rather, …

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The Baywatch Principle

Yesterday was Paczki Day here in the mitten state; if you’ve never experienced it, it goes something like this: you celebrate by eating your deep fried ball(s) of sugar-coated lard and telling anyone who tries to tell you they’re disgusting to get bent, because it’s tradition. Then you lie on the couch for a few …

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